ANBU Boggart Revealed
by Ochibi and Urufu
Summary: One Shot collections about Naruto character's Boggarts while they were guarding Hogwarts. Some crack, some serious, no pairings. Sometimes I read this crossover for the boggart scenes, so I present said scenes to you. Now with plot!
1. Shikamaru

**A/N: hey, this is going to be set during the time that Harry's parents went to Hogwarts, just a heads up. And this collection will probably be long, because I don't know how many are a t Hogwarts. Some might be serious, some might be just Crack, but I hope you enjoy, regardless.**

It was an unusually bright day in Scotland, and all the students of Hogwarts were enjoying a weekend in the sunshine. Many had decided to even go for a swim in the lake on this mild day. It was the first weekend of the school year, and gossip had been traded, rivalries rekindled, and homework was not-quite-completed. All in all, it was a fresh, grand day at Hogwarts.

But, no year at Hogwarts was without a fascinating mystery, and this year's mystery was the mysterious guards. Dumbledore had announced that they were there to protect and evaluate the castle for any dangers, and not to bother them for _anything_ if you valued your life.

So, naturally, these strangers had caused sparks of interest in the students. No one knew how many there were, where they slept, and only a small few had seen them at all, and the ones who did where in awe and shock. The guards looked so … intimidating.

All feelings of intimidation aside, a small group of people (a Ravenclaw, a Gryffindor and two Slytherins) had concocted a devious plan to set the school against the guards. After all, if one bested the best, then that would make one the best. So, an unheard, but very well known, competition was circulating throughout Hogwarts; who could find their weakness?

It was a Ravenclaw, and her trusty Hufflepuff, who had come up with the brilliant idea that if you found out their _fear_, then you would surely know their weakness. That same Ravenclaw noticed a pattern with the guards' behaviour; they took turns to protect the school, while one or two were on their break. A particularly lazy looking guard was seen snoozing under a beech tree, and that was then they decided to strike.

They had managed to find a boggart in the bottom draw in the potions lab, and had snuck it out in an enclosed cauldron. Using the opposite of a summoning charm, they had managed to expel the cauldron to right where he was sitting … or sleeping, who knew?

Oh, and they had managed to get quite the audience. They had spread rumours, and well, you reap what you sow. A particular James Potter and Sirius Black could stop snickering the entire time, but they stopped when the guard leapt on his feet. That was when the boggart was released.

The boggart took many shapes; the first was an incredibly angry woman who loomed over him, wearing an apron and a ladle in one hand. Students swore they saw flames rise up from behind her and flames burning in her eyes.

She pointed he ladle at the guard, and every student could see fear in his eyes. He was afraid of thi woman? Then again, when she started yelling at him, they couldn't blame him.

"What the _hell_ are you doing, you lazy ass?" with every sentence she spoke, she swung a ladle at him, and he did somersaults just to avoid her. "I ask you to clean your room, set the table and feed the chickens, and _you're still on your lazy ass?_"

"But-but, _mum?_" His _mother?_

The woman suddenly morphed older, a few grey hairs on her face "Why haven't you proposed yet, you lazy ass? All my hard work raising you, and I still can't beat that laziness out of you! You're such a _lazy-"_ the woman morphed again, and the guard relaxed, then tensed up instantly. The student were confused, because it had taken the form of a rather chubby man, who was wearing mostly red.

He looked really pleasant, and he was smiling as he was eating a bag of chips. Then, it all went downhill from there.

"Ch-chouji?" the guard murmured, and the smiling boy's smile turned into a face rage quicker than he dropped the bag.

"Fatso?" the boy, Chouji, uttered. There were deep shadows all over his face, and sparks were coming out of his eyes. Then, he charged towards the guards, and began throttling him while throwing him back and forth. He full out raged; "IM NOT FAT, IM BIG BONED AND THE REST IS MUSCLE!"

The unlucky guard managed to slip out from Chouji's grip and continued backing away quickly, never taking his eyes off him. Chouji jumped up high in the air, and he yelled out a word the students couldn't replicate.

As a rolling ball of Chouji came hurtling towards the guard from the sky, it morphed again, much to the disappointment of the students. They wanted to see a big explosion, or something similar.

It morphed into its last form; a giant leech.

_Then_ the guard screamed. He made movements with his hands, and the leech fell into a pit that formed under him. He then blew a whistle that was hanging around his neck, and three other guards were by his side in an instant. When the guards were on duty, they wore strange white masks, so no one knew which guards were there.

The one with long blonde hair magically filled the pit with the water, and a black haired one made flames erupt from his mouth, causing the water to boil. Another black haired man jumped up and kicked the leech on the head. The combination of all these attacks led to the high-pitched squeal coming from the leech, and it kept on morphing, never changing, as it slunk back into its container; the cauldron.

While the rest of the guards escorted a mentally scarred one, James Potter quickly snatched the cauldron.

Oh, this year was _defiantly _going to be a hilarious one.

**A/N: R&R, plz! **


	2. Sakura

**Okay, Chappie 2…**

Lily knew the boys were up to something. After five years of being in the same house as the Marauders, she developed a sixth sense as to when they were plotting up a storm. She was absolutely correct.

"Hey! Why have you got Freda's cauldron? She's been looking for it all week…" she kept rambling on and on in the ears of Sirius and James. They were walking (James and Sirius were walking, Lily was storming) down the corridor that lead to the courtyard outside. James actually had the cauldron (with a lid on it, of course) tucked under his arm, and a plain piece of parchment in the other hand.

"Lily-kins, although your gracious presence gives me more joy and pleasure than unicorns dancing in chocolate, can you please go away? I'm rather busy"

Lily turned red with rage. "James! I'm talking to you!" she stood there and waited for him to apologise (1), but he kept on walking, his faithful Sirius at his side. "Huh?" now Lily was confused. James never skipped a chance to talk to Lily, which left her wondering what was more important than her.

…_Somewhere in the castle…_

The guards had a system of their patrol; half would be patrolling the very edge of the perimeter, a third would be silently patrolling the castle itself, two people would always be publicly patrolling the halls for comfort purposes, and one or two people would be taking a break. The guards rotated after six hours at each post, except for the two who were visibly patrolling the halls; they were deemed the friendliest and most approachable of the group and they could take breaks and/or naps at their leisure. Lucky bastards. But, like all of them, both had to wear the ANBU uniform mask.

It was actually the ANBU wearing a sparrow mask that was lazily strolling around the outside courtyard, enjoying the content view of students enjoying life. She quite liked the students, but there was one person who got on her nerves; Remus Lupin. He was always avoiding all the guards, and when he spoke, it wasn't always pleasant words that came out of his mouth. He kept on asking if her hair was a natural colour, and he always had an air, a _feeling_ about him, anyway.

But, Remus was sitting in the corner with two of his friends, Sirius and Peter, and Remus looked quite angry at Sirius for a strange reason, but what made Sparrow take notice was that he kept pointing at her. After years and years of living with perverts, Sparrow couldn't but help think 'stalker'.

Sparrow sat down on a bench in the corner of the courtyard, legs kicked up and relaxing, when suddenly, a cauldron flew at her from the door.

She jumped up, and backhanded the cauldron away from her. The lid that was on top of the cauldron flicked off and a never settling Boggart came out of the cauldron. It hadn't taken a shape as it settled a few meters away from Sparrow, but then it split in two. One form rose up high and away, and the other half backed up several meters.

Sparrow was ready to defeat the unique enemy, but she recognised the forms. They had taken shape of the two most precious people in her life; Naruto and Sasuke. Both teens were old, and they looked just like they did today, except they wore their genin clothes, and where hurtling towards each other. They screamed words that Sparrow thought she would never hear again;

"CHIDORI!"

"RASENGAN!"

They collided, and an explosion ensued. It shook Hogwarts as the shockwave passed over a small radius. Dust was floating in the air, and debris was falling off the tiles of the roof. The students in the courtyard backed up to the wall, and most were shocked at the sudden noise. All four Marauders had taken cover and had hidden behind a brick column.

Sparrow ripped off her mask as she rushed to the broken teammates as they lay bloodily in the crater the explosion of power left. Everyone could see her panic and pain when she saw their condition. Naruto was missing chunks from his torso, and his jaw was nearly ripped off. Sasuke's chest was twisted and deformed. They were both struggling to breathe.

"Sakura…" they were both gasping. The now revealed Sakura didn't know what to do. She kept on panicking, tears rolling down her face. She couldn't stop sobbing, but she still didn't know what to do. Who was she going to heal first? Her extinguished love? Or her best friend? If she saved one, the other would surely die.

"Sakura…"

Rat and Monkey arrived on the scene, as they were the ones who were patrolling the area, and both paused as they saw the crater's contents. Rat turned to face Monkey, nodded, and lifted both ninja to carry to the hospital, and Sakura hadn't even registered they were there; she was in major shellshock.

Rat and Monkey nearly exited the courtyard, when magically, the bodies flew out of their grip, the crater was rapidly fixing itself, and Sakura was pushed back by the force of the crater fixing itself. All debris was fixed in an instant, and students where popping out of where rubble once was, mildly confused.

The Marauders were a bit disappointed; that was it? Where did the Boggart go?

Then, there was another battle cry.

"CHIDORI!"

"RASENGAN!"

And before they collided again, Sakura added in her own word; "_NO_!" she was crying again, and before the inevitable collision came, Monkey grabbed the wrist of Sasuke, and Rat caught Naruto's. They redirected the blow somewhat, and both masked ANBU had the males in a headlock.

"What the hell-" Monkey started to scream into Sasuke's ear, but the Boggart morphed once more. It twisted and turned out of Monkey's grip, and the one inside Rat's grip did the same. They twisted and morphed into one ball, and couldn't decide what to do to Monkey and Rat. Neither had the same fear and the Boggart was completely confused.

It then zoomed back as if jerked by a string, and made a beeline toward the entrance. Rat was about to chase after it, but Monkey put a hand on his shoulder, and gestured towards Sakura. She was sitting down and shuddering violently, eyes wide and tears running down her face.

Naruto and Sasuke were right _there_, and she couldn't do anything. She was a failure, and they were probably dead now. It was all her fault, all hers…

She kept thinking that over and over again, as if her mind was a broken record, when comforting hands where around her shoulders. She looked up to see the comforting mask of Rat, who nodded once. Sakura stood up, and was being helped to stand up.

She tottered back to the hospital with the help of Rat, but Monkey had left to go find ANBUs Fox and Tiger, for they were the only ones who could help her now.

(…)

There were four confused Marauders sitting by the Common Room fire, trying to unravel the mystery of Sparrow's fear.

"It couldn't be explosions, could it? What a weird fear…" whispered Peter.

"Nah, otherwise it would've been a lot more _boom! boom!_ ya know?" James argued back. He now carried the Boggart in a pencil case, and had stowed it in his trunk. He used the Summoning and Expulsion charms to move the Boggart around.

"Who were those people? She must be afraid of them." Sirius deducted.

"Nah, she ran _to_ them after the explosion, ya know?"

"Did you see what was in the crater?" Peter enquired.

Remus had been quiet the whole time, but decided to add his tidbit in "There was blood. Lots of blood" he shuddered. No one questioned how he knew.

"So she is afraid of the people fighting?" Sirius put in his thought.

"Maybe, but I reckon it was something more than that. Did you see her face? She looked more than scared, she looked _helpless_, ya know? I think she was a afraid of not being able to do anything."

They sat in silence, and then Sirius snapped his fingers. "Damn it!" he cursed, "How the hell are we supposed to use _that_ against her? At least we can use mums, fat people and leeches against the other guy…"

The other three nodded their agreement. Remus however, didn't like using Boggarts on people, no matter who they were. That was why he was arguing with Sirius earlier.

**R&R, plz!**

**That is how I spell apologise in Australia. If there are other words that you think are spelt funny, like "mum", then it's probably just my version, so don't worry about it.**


	3. Neji

Now, for Chappie 3… oh, and when an ANBU is wearing his mask, I'll use his codename, but when he isn't, I'll just call him by his real name, K?

It was actually behind the wacky ballet troll on the seventh floor that the door was concealed behind. After a big fuss, and what will be a whole lot of paperwork, Fox and Tiger decided to call a meeting between the guards; all nineteen of them. Their main common room was circular, and the shinobi sat around on the floor, chair or on the wall while the meeting was adjourned. To not break the contract, Fox created as many shadow clones as there were ANBU, and most transformed into their respected persons.

Fox was sitting next to Tiger on a table in front of the fire, and cleared his throat. All chatter in the room died down spontaneously, and all the eyes were on Fox.

Fox started his speech, "I called you guys over (yes, he was very professional) to talk about what happened earlier today. Sparrow?" he looked next to him, and on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket, was an unmasked Sakura. She was still shaking slightly. "Can you please tell everyone what you saw?"

Sakura took a deep breath "I was patrolling in section C of area 9 (code names were used in case of wandering ears). I sat down on a bench, when a cauldron came flying at me."

"Where was it coming from?" asked Jaguar.

"The entrance. I deflected it using my hand, then a … _monster_ … appeared in front of me, but it looked like it was spinning similar to a tornado. Then, it split in two, and then … then …" she trailed off, looking away.

"She saw us battling each other, and we died" finished Tiger offhandedly. The room seemed to heighten and tighten. Everyone had eyes on Tiger, and all assumed what he meant by "we".

"How?" asked Dragon. She looked angry for some reason.

"I don't know, that why I went to the trouble of this meeting." Fox whined. "Now, we'll go around a circle, and like good like school children, we each voice our opinion one at a time, ok?" Fox was really starting to get on the older generation's nerves, as well as some of the younger ones. What in the world had possessed Tsunade to make _him_ ANBU captain for this mission? No one had a clue, except those who were on his original Cell, and Racoon. "Ok Sparrow, you wan'na say anything?"

She shook her head. Ram spoke up, and Fox could practically see his fake smile as he said it, "The guards around Sparrow must have been pretty dick-less not to have stopped the dick-less you and fake Tiger when it happened, no?"

Tiger was now wrestling and strangling Fox at the same time to try to calm him down. Fox was yelling behind the hand Tiger had put around his mouth, and trying his best to kill Ram. That jerk.

"Cut it out, or this meeting will go on _forever…_" Rat dragged on "forever" "and that is too troublesome." He sighed and rested his head in his hands while sitting on top of the cabinet. "It is obvious that it wasn't the real them. The monster stopped being Fox and Tiger when Monkey and I grabbed it. That makes me believe that it changes shape to whoever is closest to it. It is also too similar to last week, when-" he was interrupted by snickers from Horse, Monkey and Ant. They remembered last week too, and were more than happy to reminisce it. "-when another monster attacked me. It changed into my mother-" almost everyone laughed outright, and Rat had to start speaking louder, "and into Chouji, and then a giant leech." He thought about the leech part while Ant whispered into Cat's ears about Chouji being called "fat"

Ram suddenly got hit with inspiration. He leapt down from his perch and came face to face with Sakura. "Is there _anything_ scarier to you than that situation?" he asked seriously. Sakura thought for a couple of seconds before shaking her head.

"Of course not, because it takes the form of what you fear most." concluded Rat. He straightened up and sat back on top of the cabinet.

Everyone in the meeting just disregarded Fox's rule of "one at a time, around the circle".

"_What?_ A monster that can-" Horse started.

"-change into our worst fears?" Dog concluded. They looked a t each other and shrugged.

"How do you know?" Boar spoke out, but was ignored. No one even noticed he spoke, and he felt miserable.

"How do you know?" asked Scorpion, louder than Boar.

"There is nothing I fear more than an angry and violent mum, an angry and violent Chouji ("Hey!"), and leeches. Ugh, they just freak me out. Since it changes between Humans and animal, it is obviously a shape-shifter. Sparrow just confirmed it, that's all" Rat didn't feel like talking anymore, so he just leant back and watched the nervous exchange of words.

"No way …" Horse breathed.

"I know, right?" Rooster agreed.

"H-how c-can that b-be?" Hare stuttered.

"What happened to the cauldron?" Jaguar pondered seriously.

"My worst fear would be, I don't know anymore" Cat thought about it.

"I'd probably cry …" Wolf admitted, and that made everyone all the more curious to see _his_ fear reincarnate.

One voice was distinguishable above all others, and the room went silent as he said it "If my fear came true, the school would defiantly be in danger of the greatest degree. And, I'm sure the same goes for you too, ey Fox?" Racoon tilted his head and faced it towards Fox.

Who was unnaturally silent. His worst fear? Heaven help them all, Fox doubted even ten squads of ANBU could stop the monster if it ever chose _him_.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, whatever …" he kept pondering, unconscious of his surroundings. Jaguar was bewildered; he had never seen Fox think so hard before!

The meeting continued until the clock struck twelve.

( … )

A couple of nights later, the ANBU began to relax, and the search for the shape-shifter was turned into a second priority. It was evening on Wednesday in the Gryffindor Tower, and Jaguar was peering through the window from the outside he had deemed the Tower safe, and climbed up to the top of the tower. He gazed across the grounds as he sat on the shingles.

Then, inside the tower, a girl screamed long and loud. Jaguar immediately stood up, activated his Byakugon, swung down and twisted his body, so he crashed through the window and landed in a crouch, ready to defend the threat.

Before a tall, red-headed girl was cowering before a tall, black robed, hooded figure, which raised a hand with a wand in it. The person had a mask on it shaped like a skull.

_Death Eater_.

Jaguar ran and picked up the red-head, and placed her in the corner, out of harm's way. The Death Eater turned and faced Jaguar. It hovered a little, and began spinning like a tornado. Jaguar tensed, preparing himself; this was the monster Rat had described.

The Boggart split itself into thousand miniature Boggarts, and they swarmed together. Jaguar froze as they all turned into thousands of tiny rodents.

Rats, ferrets, weasels, mice and even rabbits were surrounding him, and they all growled at Jaguar. The rabbits made chitter-y noises, but the intent was the same.

They were going to _eat_ him!

With alien speed, the rodents crawled up his leg, into his pants, and began swarming his entire body. The students watched in fascination as Jaguar writhed around on the floor, trying to get the feral beasts off. He was so covered; you couldn't actually see Jaguar in the pile. But you could hear him; oh yes, you could hear him.

Jaguar seemed to have enough, and a giant blue blowing sphere materialized around Jaguar. He spun inside the sphere, and his mask flew off, revealing Neji, and a mask of shock covered his face.

He stooped over panting, and the rodents circled him again, and lunged once more. Again, Neji jumped up and spun in a sphere, but he used more force. The rodents were blasted against the wall with many small cracks and thuds, and swarmed together once more. But, it whirled back into its never-ending shifting form, and it slunk back into a desk draw. It rattled _very _quietly.

Neji stood up proud and tall, Byakugon pulsing. He was glaring the Hyuuga Glare™ fiercely, and the student were cowering a little. Neji saw near the staircase, the girl he had rescued earlier was smacking the arm of a black-haired boy wearing glasses, and she whispered fiercely into his ear "_I told you so!_"

Personally, Neji had no idea what was going on, so he decided to stay on the safe side; be intimidating.

After another fierce look, he muttered fiercely "I'll deal with in the morning" and jumped feircely, and when he landed, he popped. Literally; he vanished with a big puff of smoke.

The students were dreading the morning.

**R&R, plz!**


	4. Kiba

**Into chappie 4 …**

**Oh, and as a reply to an anonymous review, Damien, the Marauders are in the beginning of SIXTH year, and Lily was ARGUING with James, trying to convince him to stop the Boggart "attacks", K?**

Dumbledore had been warned. The professors had been warned. Even the ghosts had been warned; the students, however, were not.

All the Gryffindors were jittery and jumpy the next morning, and the rest of the school were beginning to tense up for the sake of the tension in the air. They had good reason to be tense; they were waiting for the inevitable.

When the last of the students came into the Great Hall, and everyone was attending, Dumbledore stood up. There were no special events coming soon, but James had a gut feeling to what the Headmaster was to say.

"Students!" everyone looked up, "Your attention, please. I have an announcement to make." Heads were whispering with each other, and some were speculating that Dumbledore had decided to plant another Whomping Willow.

Sirius was actually relieved. If Dumbledore was announcing to "clear off" from the guards, then the pain would be much, much smaller than if the guards were giving the speech.

His stomach seemed to fall off at the next words though; "Or rather, a good couple of people you may or may now know, would like to make an announcement"

There was a scream from the Hufflepuff table as a body fell from the ceiling. It twisted and curled until it landed on two feet. The person wore a white mask with a fox face painted on it. He landed in the middle of the stage, meters in front of where Dumbledore was standing.

Three more people "poof"ed next to him, flanking him like guards.

Huh, a guards who had guards, ironic.

The male guard with a rat face visibly slouched over, and seemed to want to fall asleep. He instantly lost his air of superiority.

Six people fell from the ceiling, and landed on top of the house tables with small thuds. They seemed to be deadly incarnate.

The door swung open with an amazing "BANG!" and the rest of the protectors stood in the doorway. _They_ were terror incarnate. Peter shrunk in between his friends, hiding himself from their view. No one blamed him, the guards were _scary_.

_Very_ professional-like, the assumed Head-guard lifted up his head, and called out "OI!"

Synchronised heads turned from the door to Fox, and the guilty ones were trying to look away from him, but something about Fox made them unable to turn away. It was either a strange power, or their guilty consciences.

Fox actually had an idea; he thought it spectacular, and he needed some sort of entertainment anyway. He also knew the other ANBU were probably going to hate him for the rest of his life.

"As far as I know, all of you are … 'aware' that monsters are attacking the school…" here, snickers were heard, "but I, like you, know that is complete bullshit." Everyone shut up then.

"I, a fellow prankster, can tell when a joke is happening, so I will let whatever-the-heck happened slide." During his whole speech, he gestured appropriately.

"But!" he yelled out, and everyone jumped from the noise, "After I had reported these incidents to my leader, I have received intelligence of an ongoing bet; if all the guard's fears can be identified. So, I will let you have your fun, but I doubt any of you can find _all _of our fears, so you may as well give up now" oh, there was no better psychology than reverse psychology.

"Oh, and if you win, you will be rewarded, but it's a _surprise_" he stretched out the word and his voice went high-pitched. Many students were agitated, just bursting to rise up to the challenge, and even a few of the guards were noticeable trembling.

No one could tell with what emotion they were trembling from; fear, laughter, hate?

It was anger. They all saw the letter Tsunade sent them, letting them know of a bet she made with Hogwarts when _she _was guarding it many, many years ago, and after Naruto heard the contents, he ran back to his post, cackling all the way. He hadn't explained a thing; he just ordered them to be at the Great Hall when he was, and to be "very scary", were his actual words.

And now, Fox was doing one of the most stupid acts possible. There was no way in hell the guards were going to forget what he was doing. He clearly wasn't thinking, for how else he would have challenged the student to set Shape-shifters on them that could turn into their worst fears, and not think that maybe a few Tailed Beasts would make an appearance or two. _Idiot_.

"You have until our contract with the Headmaster expires and if you lose … well, it's going to be very painful." He giggled to himself, and some of the student's faces paled, while others were already plotting.

"So, on that happy thought … enjoy your meal!" he clapped, and the guards on the table were the first to go in puffs of smoke, then the ANBU near the door just walked away casually. Rat leaned over to Fox, and whispered loudly,

"You do know that you'll be murdered in your sleep?" then he vanished. The other two nodded their agreement before following.

As always, Fox took the fancy and flashy way out; he jumped up on the ceiling and ran on the rafters upside down and out the door.

( … )

Naruto was hiding. He was hiding from all the guards, but not the students. The students would see him before he looked around wildly, started screaming, before vanishing in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke cleared, the students were terrified to discover lots of knives, pointy stars and even the occasional sword imbedded in the stone where he was standing.

Of course, the students snickered about it later. Sometimes, even the guards would snicker about it later. It was unusual to here laughter in a corridor you happened to be passing through.

Dog was wedged up in the ceiling, out of sight, in the Entrance Hall, and Akamaru sitting next to him in the shadows, just as observant as his partner. Both ANBU and dog returned to their post after the "incident", he put mildly, and he was the first one to try to murder Fox as he came out of the hall. The Kunai were still imbedded in the wall above the door, exactly where fox came out.

Dog had calmed down now, and he was observing the students with boredom. He tried to make his job more comfortable and enjoyable by listening to the gossip passed around by the students, and one piece of conversation caught his sharp ears;

"There (ACHOO!) _must_ be a dog around here (ACHOO!) somewhere…"

"Why'd you think that?"

"I'm _allergic _to dogs, and I can't stop (ACHOO!) sneezing, duh!"

"Well, maybe it's one of the guards, I'm pretty sure one of them was _riding_ a dog just now…"

"Ah, just _brilliant-_" the conversation went on, but Akamaru whined behind Dog. They'd been busted unintentionally. Dog slunk around the cobblestone, Akamaru tailing him. He climbed out of sight in the ceiling, but Akamaru was having trouble walking on the rafters; the stone gave way, and Akamaru fell face first onto the Entrance Hall floor.

"Akamaru!" Dog leapt down, reaching out to Akamaru, and caught him before he face-planted. It was bizarre to see the Dog and his dog hugging briefly, before Dog placed Akamaru on the ground.

"You be careful next time, alright?" Kiba soothed out, and Akamaru whined.

"I will, Dog. You shouldn't worry about me" Akamaru replied, speaking Doggese. The students had no clue what they said next, but Dog straightened up and stretched. He gestured around good naturally.

"Nothing to see here, folks. Beat it" Dog was just about to leap up back to the ceiling, when he started sneezing violently. Akamaru was growling at the direction of the door into the Great Hall, hackles raised.

The door edged open eerily, creaking slightly. The students' subconscious seemed to sense the danger as they backed away from the door. Dog crouched down into his clans fighting stance, preparing for whatever came through that door.

Time slowed down as Dog felt the shivers crawl up his spine; adrenalin coursed through his body. His eyes widened and shrunk at the same time as _it _came out.

His mortal enemy.

A _giant_ "His mortal enemy".

First, it was the nose. A small, moist nose on the end of a black furry muzzle. It hovered halfway up the door as it peered out; it was the size of a large apple, but compared to the rest of _its_ body, the nose was truly small.

The wet nose jerked several times as it absorbed the surrounding aromas, and as _it_ sighed, more of _its_ muzzle inched out of the door, and fangs were producing through the slippery and grotesque snarl. A deep growl emerged from _its_ chest.

Then came the paws; two tufts of black fur with equally dark stubby claws plodded through the door, and the growls turned into snarls.

Dog knew what _it_ was as soon as he saw the nose. He had avoided smaller versions of _it_ since childhood, ever since that day…

It didn't matter anymore, because Dog was a _freaking ANBU, _for Jashin's sake! It was his duty, and currently his duty alone to protect the students of the school from harm, and _it_ would most definitely harm to the students.

It was then Dog embraced his fear, and tackled it head on.

Literally.

As the small, black, beady eyes finally emerged from the corner, Dog leapt in the air, Akamaru following suit, and head-butted the giant beast, shattering his ANBU mask.

The force sent _it_ back into the (thankfully) empty Great Hall, and Kiba chased after _it_ without a second thought.

As he burst into the Great Hall, he skidded to a halt, kunai in hand and dog at heels.

It towered over Kiba it all its glory, beady black eyes leering from above, and it shifted backwards. Ever step it waddled back shook the ground. It had an extremely rotund behind, but Kiba was not fooled; that was its strongest defence and offence in its body. Its giant, black and bushy tail flicked sideways as its head was lowered to Kiba's eye level.

_It_ pounced, swiping Kiba with its paw and missed as Kiba back-tracked. Kiba's face scrunched up in an animalistic snarl that rivalled _it_, and he brought his hands together.

The sudden appearance of smoke startled the giant beast, for its fear was fire, and as it clumsily landed on its rear, it was once again startled; a beast equal of its height had sunk low into a crouch, ready to pounce. The new beast could be easiest to describe as a white, two headed dog that slobbered and snarled at the mouth; both heads had eyes locked on the target and an oddly calculating look was behind it, betraying his intelligence.

The dog reared on its hind legs, and as he let out a deep, booming bark, he pounced on _it_, one head biting the neck, the other the shoulder. The dog kept its jaws locked as _it_ howled in pain, and it's stubby hind legs starting kicking out, and the rest of its body twisted and convulsed.

The poor dog's eyes, all four of them, began to water from the smell coming off _it_. This was the main reason why Kiba and Akamaru kept away from these beasts; granted, they were almost always smaller than the one they were facing, but all were as deadly as each other. From the position Kiba's head had on _it_, he could clearly see the white stripes down _it_ back down to the tip of its tail…

That began lifting up.

'_Oh, shit!_' both heads thought as one, and the Kiba/Akamaru immediately began backing away clumsily, and as their hinds legs stumbled over each other, they collapsed. The head that belonged to Kiba looked up at _it_ at the exactly wrong (or right) moment, and that was when it happened … not for the first time, either.

The ten meter tall skunk sprayed its juices straight into Kiba's eyes.

( … )

Rooster hadn't had much to do in this mission; she was a part of the squadron assigned to patrol the corridors of the castle. In the shift that was immediately after Fox's little challenge to the kiddies (which he was so going to pay for, Rooster decided. She was probably going to do something _extremely_ horrible to his ramen or something) Rooster was sharing a rotation with Dog for the first three floors inside the castle. She was hiding underneath one of the marble staircases (no one would think to look for someone there, would they?) when two normally deep and intimidating voices let out an extremely high pitched noise (was it a scream or a squeal? Rooster couldn't tell. Either way, they both lasted for five whole seconds).

By the time Rooster had madly dashed to the Entrance Hall, and stealthily and cautiously entered the Great Hall, she had built up a high level of adrenalin. And to add weight on her poor, stressed out mind, it was _that_ time of the month, so her body was raging with hormones.

The end result was not pleasant, to say the least; the giant skunk had taken a good couple of kunai, shuriken and giant-ass windmill shuriken to the head before morphing back into a million other shapes before cowering in a dark corner, far, far away for whatever monstrosity Rooster had dwelling deep in her hear.

Rooster was now actually towering over two trembling and convulsing forms; with a stony expression, Rooster sneered down upon Akamaru and Kiba; the pathetic large white dog that looked like he was having a seizure in his sleep, and Kiba had tears streaming down his clan tattoos as his hands were clawing down his nose.

Kiba was shuddering violently as he rolled over continuously on the floor, and he was uttering out strangled yelps, and occasionally began dragging his tongue on the floor.

The sight Kiba was making in front of the PMS-ing ANBU who was extremely proud of her rank was, in one word, pathetic.

At the moment, pathetic-ness wasn't tolerated for Rooster, so she literally grabbed both dog and man (though he didn't deserve to be called a man, Rooster thought) and dragged them on their hindquarters, backtracked from the Hall and out stomped through the courtyard outside

As a peeved Rooster stomped out onto the grounds, a small group of brave students followed after her. They were also curious, and most of them had seen the giant skunk, so naturally, devoted spectators had wanted to see this through the end. All of them remembered the feeling of dread that had surfaced into their minds as Rooster stormed out of the room, and they had, and still did, wanted to know the incapacitated guards punishment.

The mask Rooster wore was an interesting one, to say the least; it was no doubt a rooster, with the yellow outline of a beak visible and an outline of a red comb was on the right side of the mask. What was the most interesting was the engraving of feathers on the white mask that depicted feathers. The feathers were jagged and they all pointed down the cheek; they enhanced the look of the eyes.

And boy, did those chocolate brown eyes spark fires; they were sharper than a razors edge when they left the Entrance Hall, opposed to the concentrating look she wore when she entered.

And as Rooster walked down the grounds, those same eyes grew sharper and sharper, even getting colder. Kiba wasn't even noticing the ground was getting rockier and sandier as he kept clawing at his own face.

The students tailing Rooster halted when she did, and that was when she was at the edge of the lake. They watched as Rooster shift her grip on Akamaru's scruff when she dragged him back a bit. She kept shuffling around her captives, as if dusting the floor with them. Then–

"You STINK!" she leant back to an impossible angle, and hurled Akamaru and a dazed Kiba into the water … more than fifty meters away.

While Kiba and Akamaru were yelping (they were doing that a lot today), Rooster craned her neck slowly to the gathered witnesses, and tilted her head slightly. "What do you want?" her voice was smooth, silky and deadly; at least three of the younger students bolted right there and then, before Rooster released her frustrations from Kiba onto them.

And back up in the castle, in one of the towers, the Headmaster of the school chuckled good-naturally when he witnessed Kiba getting face-planted into the water. He reminisced about the bet he had made with a young woman he once met many years ago, and what would happen should the (new) guardians of Hogwarts lose the bet; either way, this year would be one of the many exciting ones he ever had (or will have).


End file.
